Now you have to figure out how to get from the general picture to the specific one. Look at the way Kobayashi Issa sets up the last line of his haiku with the second. He moves from the hut to the morning glories by using the middle line, “Is newly thatched I see . . .” That picture is the bridge between the two images. How will you get from your first line to the last? Think about that. As soon as you think of a way to do it, write down that picture on your last piece of paper. The image that Bruce decided to use was that of heavy accumulations of ice on trees, telephone poles, and electrical wires.
Okay, you’re almost finished. All that remains is to take your three pictures and describe each of the images using the correct number of phonetic units. On your first piece of paper, keep rewriting the description of your picture until you can describe it in five syllables. It may take some time, but try not to rush it. I’ll show you what Bruce did with his first line.
On his first piece of paper, Bruce wrote: “Strong winds with blinding wind-driven snow are creating blizzard-like conditions that reduce visibility to almost zero.” But of course, that’s <i>way </i>too many syllables. Bruce had to do his best to say the same thing using exactly five phonetic units. He would only be able to use the most important words. The first thing that came to mind was, “wind driven snow.” But, when he counted the syllables he discovered that there were only four, and he needed five. So, he revised what he wrote so that the words he finally decided on were: “Blinding winter winds.
Once you have your first line done, you can start on your second. Remember that in your second line you need to form a bridge to the third. In Bruce’s second line, after playing around with the number of syllables, he got: “ice covered telephone lines.” His plan was to find some way to get from the ice cover telephone lines to a single melting icicle. You need to do the same thing in your second line. (By the way, you can use a word like “oh” or “hey” For your syllable count if you want to.)
If you happen to get stuck while trying to get the right syllable count, just set your haiku down for a little while and comeback to it some time later. It may even be that the right words just come to you sometime when you least expect it. Don’t worry if it takes you a little while.
Once you have your second line done, turn to the last one, the one where your detail will be the most focused. where you will capsulize the feeling of your season. When Bruce got to the last line, he realized that he would not have enough syllables to include the sun in his description. But, he needed the sun to explain why the icicle was melting, so he decided to try including it in the second line, where he had seven syllables to work with as opposed to just five. He revised his second line once again so that it read, “Ice-covered trees greet the sun.” But, he wasn’t happy with that. So, he tweaked it a little and finally came up with, “Ice covered trees say, “Hi, sun!”
And for his last line he wrote, “Drops countdown to spring.”